I would like to sell out and pimp phones like Eric Clapton but I have no market value. How can I sell out?
I kind of need the money but no one is willing to pay me to sell out. I will willingly proclaim opinions I don’t support and espouse values I do not share. I can endorse products I’ve never tried and would never use. Can anyone make some helpful and non-snarky suggestions as to how to best sell out? Thanks!
Listen to the top ten songs everyday and you’ll be cool!
What you need m’ dear is a good scandal.
You know, one that gets picked up by all the network channels, the internet and commented daily on by chat show hosts.
You could try stalking a celebrity, having a same sex sexual relationship with a prominent conservative politician or just do something absolutely insane like painting yourself purple and hanging off of the Golden Gate Bridge.
Notoriety and infamousy has worked well for many former no-names. Good luck on it and watch those endorsements roll in!!
First, you’ll need to steal the Pick of Destiny from Clapton…
Jump on the fundamentalist bandwagon…look how well douchebag Pat Robertson is doing these days.
Can I request “After Midnight?”
You’re faced with what I like to call the “Fidel problem.”
He won power as a left-nationalist populist, not as a Marxist. In 1959 through early 1960, before the Soviets picked up his option, Castro’s government was pleading with the United States for support, and Raoul Castro, Che Guevara, and the other more-leftist elements in Fidel’s group had not yet achieved dominance in the movement.
Fidel was, apparently, perfectly willing to sell out to Washington. But it’s hard to sell out if no one is buying.
The thing for you to do, I think, is to imitate what Fidel did.
Achieve notoriety by denouncing Clapton and his sponsors! Pick venues as public as is possible, be energetic, and be tireless, and above all, be photogenic. Eventually, you will be approached by the competitors of Clapton’s sponsors.
If Fidel’s experience is any example, you will soon find out that some of your closest friends were inclined towards them all along.
Oh, and it wouldn’t hurt to practice your guitar chords and your marksmanship.
And if you could get on a “reality” show and be shown punching out your significant other, that would help, too.
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Advertise.